Lycra is an unforgiving fabric hiding no lumps or bumps and for those mere mortal amateur triathletes can result in some pretty shocking race photos. Rather than hiding your uglies we say embrace the horror and show those official camera men your best side and do your best to embarrass your kids in public spaces for training or racing. Below is our list of favourites sights to be seen come race day.
The Silverback Gorilla
This species is competing in some of the older age categories sporting an XL tri-suit accompanied by an abundance of hair protruding from the back enveloping their clothing.
This is your surprise package tipping the scales just shy of a small compact car but an absolute legend on the bike leg powering up the hills but insanely quick on the flat where the lycra will be performing at its limits to contain those bad boys.
String Bean Strider
Long, lean and finding it near impossible to get a decent fitting trisuit with a long body and zero body fat. These lanky puppies come into their own in the run leg where they are light on their feet floating like a butterfly with their lycra flapping in the wind.
Too young to be more than five yards from Mummy in the eyes of most of their fellow racers but striking an irritating good profile in any lycra new or old. Fresh at the start and irritatingly carrying through to the finish.
All the gear
Sporting head to toe Huub apparel this bunch of Jonny-Come-Lately’s have pretty much no idea and can be found languishing in transition in spite of throwing money at the problem the official cameraman can still capture every shocking side of them.
Indecent Exposure Near Miss
Competing in the bare minimum of lycra that means at every transition, corner and downhill you might catch an eyefull of flesh at every instance where you will be left wishing they had just bought a slightly larger size.